i'M JUST N0T SURE...

i'M JUST N0T QUiTE SURE ANYM0RE. MY HEART HURTS. WHEN MY PH0NE RiNGS. i SMiLE. BUT i JUST D0NT KN0W. Y0U CALL ME && i GET NERV0US. i D0NT KN0W WHAT T0 SAY T0 Y0U ANYM0RE. THiNGS DEFiNATELY ARENT THE SAME ANYM0RE. THEY NEVER WiLL BE. iN THE BACK 0F MY MiND EVERYTHiNG THAT Y0U'VE D0NE T0 ME REPLAYS iN MY MiND LiKE AN 0LD M0ViE. BUT i JUST D0NT KN0W.. MY HEAD TELLS ME T0 ST0P ANSWERiNG Y0UR PH0NE CALLS AND PUT 0N MY BL0CK LiST. BUT EVERY TiME i D0 THAT, Y0U CALL ME && i JUST TAKE Y0U BACK 0FF. AS MUCH AS i TRY i CANT ST0P TALKiN T0 Y0U. BUT MY HEART HURTS S0 MUCH AFTER THE THiNGS Y0U'VE D0NE SAiD. i CANT ST0P 0VER ANALAYZiNG THiNGS THAT Y0U SAY. 0R D0. i CANT ST0P THiNKiNG AB0UT Y0U. i JUST D0NT KN0W. WHAT AM i SUPP0SE T0 D0. i JUST D0NT KN0W...

THEN 0N THE 0THER SiDE DALE WANTS T0 TALK AB0UT US. WHAT'S G0iNG 0N. WHAT THiS iS ALL AB0UT. HE WANTS T0 DiSCUSS 0UR FUTURE. T0NiGHT HE WAS STARTiNG T0 SAY THiNGS. i KN0W EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYiN AND WANTED T0 SAY BUT i PUSHED iT iN THE BACK 0F MY HEAD. BECAUSE i REALLY HAVENT C0ME T0 TERMS 0F WHAT i WANT 0UT'VE LiFE 0R WHAT T0 D0.

0NE HE SAiD THAT HE WAS SUPP0SE T0 BE ENGAGED. i KN0W FR0M THE EPHASiZiNG THAT iT WAS HiM && i. THE SEC0ND TiME AR0UND. THAT THiNGS WERE SUPP0SE T0 BE PERMANENT. BUT i CH0SE S0ME0NE ELSE. i KNEW THAT i WAS SUPP0SE T0 BE THE FiANCE iN HiS LiFE.

THEN AN0THER 0NE WAS HiM WAKiN UP AND R0LLiNG 0VER. THAT WAS SAYiNG THAT HE WANTED T0 R0LL 0VER iN THE M0RNiNG NEXT T0 ME. HE WANTED T0 FALL ASLEEP AND WAKE ME NEXT T0 ME. THAT HE WANTED T0 BE ABLE T0 G0 T0 SLEEP KN0WiNG THAT i WAS RiGHT NEXT T0 HiM && WHEN HE W0KE UP THAT i WAS STiLL G0iNG T0 BE THERE. HE C0ULD PUT HiS ARMS AR0UND ME, HE C0ULD H0LD ME ANYTiME HE WANTED.

i KN0W THESE ARE THE THiNGS THAT HE WANTED T0 TALK AB0UT. BUT i CANT TALK AB0UT ALL 0F TH0SE THiNGS RiGHT N0W BECAUSE i'M STiLL S0 BR0KEN. i'M STiLL S0 HURT. i D0NT KN0W WHAT T0 D0 0R SAY ANYM0RE. i'M JUST S0 HURT, i'M STiLL S0 MADLY iN L0VE WiTH S0ME0NE ELSE. BUT WHAT i D0NT UNDERSTAND iS THE FACT THAT DALE iS MY FiRST L0VE, THAN WHY AM i STRUGGLiNG WiTH SHiT 0VER S0ME0NE ELSE YA KN0W?