LEARNiNG....

LEARNiNG WiTH EACH DAY THAT G0ES BY i SH0ULDNT LET LiTTLE THiNGS B0THER ME. i MEAN PE0PLE HAVE BEEN CALLiNG ME NAMES. CALLiNG ME 0UT'VE MY NAME F0R YEARS. BUT i D0NT CARE ANYM0RE CALL ME WHAT Y0U WANT. CAUSE AT THE END 0F THE DAY i KN0W WH0 i AM, i KN0W WHAT i AM. MY FRiENDS KN0W ME && TH0SE ARE THE 0NES THAT i SURR0UND MYSELF WiTH. YA i'M CRAZY. i'M L0UD. i SAY WHATEVER C0MES T0 MY MiND WiTH0UT THiNKiNG AB0UT iT. i LiVE LiKE T0MMR0W iS MY LAST. i'M N0T PERFECT i HAVE MY 0FF DAYS. YA i CAN C0ME 0FF AS A BiTCH T0 PE0PLE BUT HEY, THAT JUST SH0WS THAT Y0U D0NT KN0W ME LiKE Y0U THiNK Y0U KN0W ME. 0R Y0U JUST D0NT KN0W ME AT ALL. S0 i'M LEARNiN DAY BY DAY WiTH THiNGS G0iN 0N iN MY LiFE...

HM....

&& iM GLAD THAT THiNGS WENT THE WAY THEY WENT. AS MUCH AS i MiSS Y0U && AS MUCH AS i L0VE Y0U. i WAS HURTiNG Y0U S0 MUCH THAT i WASNT EVEN REALiZiNG iT. 0R EVEN CARiNG. i CAME T0 THE REALiZATi0N THiS M0RNiNG THAT i'M GLAD THAT TEALE DiD STEP iN BECAUSE SHE WAS THE 0NE THAT SAVED Y0U FR0M ME. SHE ST00D UP F0R Y0U WHEN Y0U WERE AT Y0UR WEAKEST. && i WAS JUST MAKiN iT W0RSE. SHE ST00D UP F0R Y0U LiKE i'VE NEVER ST00D UP F0R Y0U BEF0RE. ALL i WAS D0iN WAS HURTiNG Y0U WiTH MY 0WN SELFiSH ACTS. i DiDNT CARE AB0UT H0W THE THiNGS i SAiD 0R DiD EFFECTED Y0U. i JUST PLAYED 0N THE FACT THAT i KNEW Y0U WERE ALWAYS G0iN T0 BE THERE WHEN i NEEDED S0METHiNG T0 FALL BACK 0N. && i'M S0RRY F0R THAT & i KN0W Y0U KN0W THAT iM S0RRY EVEN WHEN i D0NT SH0W iT.

MR. 0iNKESTER-- i HAVE T0 REALiZE THAT Y0U WANT ME iN Y0UR LiFE. CAUSE iF Y0U DiDNT CARE AB0UT ME, iF Y0U DiDNT L0VE ME THAN WE'D BE D0NE. WE W0ULD TALK WE W0ULD HANG 0UT. WHATEVER. BUT WE B0TH WANT EACH 0THER iN 0UR LiVES EVEN iF iT'S JUST FRiENDS. EVEN TH0UGH i KN0W DEEP D0WN iN B0TH 0F HEARTS THAT WE B0TH WANT THiNGS T0 W0RK 0UT iN 0UR FRiENDSHiP T0 LATER MAKE A BETTER RELATi0NSHiP iF && WE D0 GET BACK T0GETHER.

i MEAN i N0W KN0W H0W HARD iT WAS F0R BiANCA T0 BE FRiENDS WiTH ME. WHEN Y0U L0VE S0ME0NE S0 MUCH THAT Y0U'LL D0 ANYTHiNG. iT SUCKS T0 BE iNTR0DUCED AS MY EX GiRLFRiEND BUT MY BEST FRiEND. TH0SE W0RDS ARE LiKE A STAB iN THE HEART. iT'S HARD T0 BE iNTR0DUCED T0 Y0UR NEW GiRL. THE 0NE THAT Y0UR CH0SiN T0 SPEND Y0UR TiME WiTH. JUST D0NT HAVE ME H0LDiNG 0N F0R TW0 L0NG... PLEASE

BEEN THiNKiN...

S0 i HAD TiME T0 THiNK AB0UT EVERYTHiNG && iTS STARTiNG T0 MAKE SENSE. i MEAN Y0U W0ULD CALL ME ALL THE TiME iF Y0U DiDNT CARE AB0UT ME, iF Y0U DiDNT L0VE ME. Y0U W0ULD HAVE A TATT00 SiMiLAR T0 MiNE. ALWAYS THiNKiNG AB0UT ME WHEN Y0U L00K AT iT.

i UNDERSTAND THAT Y0U WANNA BE FRiENDS. N0T BE iN A RELATi0NSHiP. WE ARE BEST FRiENDS. i MEAN WE WERE T0GETHER F0R 7 M0NTHS THATS HALF A YEAR && A M0NTH. THAT'S MY L0NGEST RUNNiN RELATi0NSHiP T0 DATE. i L0VE Y0U THERE'S N0 QUESTi0N THAT 0R D0UBTiN THAT. THATS WHY i'M FiGHT S0 HARD WiTH FRiENDS FAMiLY && EVERY0N ELSE. i WANT Y0U T0 BE iN MY LiFE. i WANT T0 BE ABLE T0 CALL Y0U CAUSE i MiSS Y0U. i WANT T0 BE ABLE T0 KN0W WHAT'S G0iN 0N iN Y0UR LiFE & BE A PART 0F Y0UR LiFE. Y0U D0 KN0W ME WELL BUT i D0NT KN0W Y0U D0NT KN0W AS WELL AS DALE STiLL. CAUSE HE'S KN0W ME F0R TW0 YEARS && i D0NT KN0W.

i D0 KN0W, THAT i D0 GET Y0U && UNDERSTAND Y0U i JUST UNDERSTAND S0ME 0F THE THiNGS THAT Y0U D0. i D0NT UNDERSTAND ALL 0F THE DECiSi0NS Y0U MAKE. BUT D0ES ANY0NE UNDERSTAND S0ME0NE C0MPLETELY.

i GET THAT Y0UR TRYNA GET THiNGS BACK T0GETHER, BACK BEF0RE EVERYTHiNG HAPPENED. AFTER Y0U G0T 0UT iN 0CT0BER THiNGS WERE JUST DiFFERENT F0R Y0U. i WAS THERE F0R Y0U, JUST LiKE i WiLL ALWAYS BE THERE F0R Y0U. iN L0VE iN SUPP0RT iN EVERYTHiNG. i TRUST G0D THAT HE W0NT LET ME D0WN. THAT ME FEELiNG THiS WAY AB0UT Y0U N0W, iS EiTHER G0iNG T0 HAVE US T0GETHER AGAiN 0NCE WE B0TH HAVE EVERYTHiNG T0GETHER. 0R TEACH US THAT Y0U LET ME G0, && Y0UR JUST G0iN T0 REGRET iT.

S0METHiNG THAT'S STiLL 0N MY MiND iS WHY DiD WE SPEND THREE DAYS T0GETHER. i G0 T0 A PARTY && Y0U HAVE A NEW GiRL. Y0U NEVER MENTi0NED THAT Y0U WERE TALKiN T0 S0ME0NE NEW. THAT iS A KEY C0MP0NENT. i MEAN WE SPEND THREE DAYS T0GETHER LiKE WE USE T0. Y0U KiSSED ME T0 WAKE ME UP. Y0U HELD ME CL0SE WHEN WE FALL ASLEEP. Y0U REPEATEDLY KEEP TELLiNG ME THAT Y0U L0VE ME. BUT Y0UR REAS0NiN iS THAT WE B0TH NEED T0 GET EVERYTHiNG T0GETHER & THAT i WAS ACTiNG WHEN i BLEW UP 0N Y0U. i JUST D0NT C0MPLETELY UNDERSTAND. i GUESS MAYBE iTS L0VE THAT T00K 0VER && TH0SE THREE DAYS WERE JUST A REViSE 0F THE PAST. THAT'S ALL THEY WiLL BE.

AS F0R ME BL0WiNG UP 0N Y0U THE WAY i DiD 0N SATURDAY NiGHT. THAT WAS ME. THAT MiGHT N0T BE THE ME Y0U KN0W. Y0U NEVER REALLY TRULY SEEN ME MAD. 0NLY PERS0N THAT HAS WAS DALE. && THAT'S WHEN HE && i WERE YELLiNG AT EACH 0THER THR0WiNG PUNCHES. MAD AS HELL. i HAVE A TEMPER BUT S0ME PE0PLE THiNK THAT THEY HAVE SEEN iT. BUT N0 0NE PERS0N HAS TRULY SEEN iT, & THATS DALE. CAUSE WHEN i'M TRULY MAD WHEN i'M THAT PiSSED iTS USUALLY ME SiTTiNG THERE FiGHTiNG F0R L0VE. iT'S BE S0 UPSET THAT i BL0W UP, THAT i'M YELLiN AND SCREAMiNG. PE0PLE SEE ME AS CRAZY THAT'S FiNE BUT THEY D0NT KN0W ME. THEY CAN THiNK WHAT THEY WANT T0 THiNK 0F ME. CAUSE i KN0W WH0 ME iS Y0U KN0W WH0 ME iS. MY FRiENDS KN0W WH0 ME iS. i D0NT CARE WHAT PE0PLE THiNK 0F ME CAUSE THEY D0NT KN0W ME.

S0 i GUESS THiS FiGHT F0R L0VE iS 0VER. i D0NT KN0W WHAT THE FUTURE H0LDS. BUT i D0 KN0W THAT i STiLL EVERY NiGHT FALL ASLEEP && Y0UR STiLL iN MY DREAMS. THEY ALWAYS END UP WiTH US T0GETHER. S0ME WHERE WERE MARRiED S0ME WHERE WERE N0T. BUT i KN0W THAT i L0VE Y0U && i D0NT WANT T0 ST0P L0ViNG Y0U. i JUST WANT MY LiFE T0 GET STR0NGER F0R Y0U WiTH EVERY BREATHE THAT i TAKE. i KN0W THAT i STiLL SEE A FUTURE F0R US. THAT i STiLL SEE US T0GETHER AGAiN. i SEE US MARRiED && HAPPY WiTH A FAMiLY THAT iNCLUDES Y0UR DAUGHTER. i JUST WANNA L0VE Y0U WiTH N0 HEARTACHE && N0 DRAMA.

BUT i FEAR THE WAY THAT THiNGS ARE G0iN AS 0F RiGHT N0W THAT WHAT i WANT WiLL NEVER HAPPEN. THAT Y0UR ALWAYS G0iN T0 H0P FR0M GiRL T0 GiRL. Y0U'LL ALWAYS HAVE A GiRLFRiEND. iF i D0 C0ME BACK && Y0UR HERE. 0R WHERE Y0U ARE. Y0UR G0NNA HAVE S0ME0NE BY Y0UR SiDE. THAT PERS0N iSN'T G0iNG T0 BE ME. THAT Y0UR G0NNA MARRY S0ME0NE ELSE. THAT S0ME0NE iS G0iN T0 TRULY TAKE MY PLACE. i N0W KN0W H0W BiANCA FEELS. CAUSE SHE L0VES Y0U i CAN SEE THAT, && iT'S HARD T0 SEE THE 0NE Y0U L0VE S0 MUCH WiTH S0ME0NE ELSE THAT'S N0T Y0U.

L0VE...

AFTER THESE LAST TW0 YEARS THAT i HAVE BEEN THR0UGH WiTH L0VE. WiTH THE DEFiNATE UP'S & D0WN'S 0F L0VE WiTH THESE TW0 GUYS. i NVR WANNA FALL iN L0VE AGAiN. N0T BECAUSE i L0VE THEM S0 MUCH THAT i D0NT WANT T0 FiND S0ME0NE ELSE & M0VE 0N WiTH MY LiFE. BUT BECAUSE i'VE SEEN WHAT iT'S D0NE T0 ME & THEM. i'VE SEEN H0W MUCH DRAMA iS CAUSES. H0W HARD iT iS T0 MAKE THE RiGHT DECiSi0N WHEN Y0UR iN L0VE WiTH TW0 PE0PLE.

i JUST D0NT THiNK THAT MY HEART CAN TAKE iT ANYM0RE. i JUST D0NT KN0W iF i SH0ULD LET PE0PLE iN ANYM0RE. i JUST REALLY D0NT KN0W AT THiS P0iNT AB0UT ANYTHiNG 0THER THAN WHY i L0VE && WHY i L0VE THEM.

i L0ST B0TH BATTLES. i L0ST 0NE BECAUSE i CH0SE S0ME0NE ELSE'S FRiENDSHiP 0VER W0RKiN THiNGS 0UT. WHiCH i SH0ULDA JUST STUCK WiTH BUT ME BEiNG ME i CH0SE THE LEFT SiDE iNSTEAD 0F THE RiGHT. && THAT'S WHY i'M STUCK iN THiS "BEST FRiEND" BULLSHiT. iT SEEMS THAT i CANT ST0P MAKiN TH0SE LEFT TURNS, i'M JUST STUCK iN THiS CiRCLE 0F L0VE. i WiSH i C0ULD GET 0UT BUT AT THE SAME TiME i D0NT. i JUST D0NT KN0W... I WiSH THiNGS WERE DiFFERENT. THAT THE LAST THREE DAYS MEANT S0METHiNG T0 HiM AS MUCH AS THEY DiD T0 ME.

i WiSH THAT ALL MY G00D BYES WERE G0NNA BE DiFFERENT THAN THE WAY THAT THEY ARE TURNiNG 0UT T0 BE N0W. BUT iF THiS iS THE WAY THAT i HAVE T0 SAY MY FiNAL G00D BYES BY N0T SAYiN G00D BYE S0 BE iT. iTS JUST THE WAY THiNGS TURNED 0UT T0 BE. THE WAY THEY HAVE T0 BE...

GLAD...

i'M GLAD THAT THiNGS ALWAYS C0ME D0WN T0 THiS. THAT iTS THE TW0 0F Y0U AGAiNST ME. THAT N0 0NE CAN STAY THE FUCK 0UT'VE EVERY0NE ELSE'S SHiT. BUT iT'S 0KAY. CAUSE F0R ALL i CARE ANYM0RE. 0H WAiT i D0NT CARE ANYM0RE.

CAUSE i D0NT AGREE WiTH SHiT YALL D0 0R THE PE0PLE Y0U HANG AR0UND 0R THE FRiENDS Y0U KEEP. BUT iF i KEEP S0ME0NE JUST AS A FRiEND iT BL0WS UP iNT0 EVERY0NE ST0P TALKiN C0MPLETELY && DELETiNG EACH 0THER. BUT THAT'S 0KAY. iT'S WHATEVER. SH0WS AL0T.

N0 MATTER WHAT HE PUT ME THR0UGH HE'S MY BEST FRiEND i CAN GET THR0UGH iT. BUT i SEE Y0UR iSSUES. BUT F0REAL iT WAS A DiSCUSSi0N THAT DiDNT iNV0LVE Y0U.

T0 PiSSED 0F T0 FiNiSH